Waiting and wondering...

The other day I asked my friends on Facebook suggestions on good ways to relax, and got some great ideas.  Right now, I'm kinda stuck until I see my cardiologist in April.  I'm not sure what kind of exercise I'm going to be cleared to do.  I did yoga for awhile and loved it, and am seriously thinking of getting a bike.  We have great linear trails around here an it's something I like to do.

A lot of people suggested...you guessed it...writing.  So if you guys are willing to read my thoughts, writing it will be.

So it's 11:30 on Friday night.  I should be tired, but my mind won't let me rest.  All this crap with my heart is getting to me.  I'm trying to stay positive, using humor, whatever it takes to get by.  Honestly?  I'm afraid.  It's disconcerting when you can feel your heart beating and worse when it beats weird.  You over think EVERYTHING.  It sucks.  

I spent another night in the hospital this week.  I had an episode before work on Tuesday.  Chest pressure, short of breath.  Off to acute care AGAIN.  Called the ambulance...again.  Put me on O2 because my level was at 92 and gave me nitroglycerin, which got rid of all the pressure.  My paramedic Nick was sweet.  He explained what all my leads were for and what my EKG meant.  I think he knew I was upset and the distraction helped.  Yale was insanely busy.  I have never seen so many people in an ER.  They gave me more blood work and another chest x-ray.  The good news is no changes from last month.  So I stayed the night and was sent home.

Next week is my final test.  I get my thyroid scanned.  My T3 and T4 numbers are normal, but my antibodies are totally out of whack.  Hopefully the results of that and my MRI from today with give us answers so we can get a game plan going for the future.  I'm not one to wish time away...but April 7th can't get here soon enough.