Today is Monday. Thankfully its over. Honestly? It wasn't that bad. I just wish there was a more subtle way to shut one's brain off other than tripping a circuit. Today was that kinda day. And it's not big stuff. It's an accumulation of little shit...like playing with emotional blocks. How high can you build the tower before it falls?
Like I said in my status yesterday...falling into my "hole" is familiar and oddly comforting, but it's like a bad habit. That one cigarette long after you quit, that one drink because you're stressed and can handle it. Depression is like that. It's subtle. Keep saying "I'm fine." and watch how fast you aren't.
I'm out. I can't hide behind the "I'm fines" anymore. It's liberating. I'm not afraid to admit when I have a bad day or two. It was when I couldn't that a bad day would turn into a bad week...then a bad month.
Talking about your feelings isn't easy. Sometimes there are no words to express what's banging around in your head. It's acknowledging the feeling, telling someone you care about, "Hey, I'm having a day. Bear with me." that helps you feel better. Think of it as emptying a stinky pile of garbage into a dumpster.
My inner cheerleader assures me that everything will be OK. And if it's you having a rotten, crappy, all around bad day? Tomorrow's a new day. Get some sleep. It will be OK.
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